Writing has been a part of my life for a while now, yet I haven't written in this blog since last year. I don't want to say I was uninspired, because plenty has happened over this past year, and I don't want to let myself off as easy as saying I was taking this year after college to rest, relax, live with no work or deadlines outside of 9 - 5. I often hesitate to open the page, because that first sentence always is the hardest; it's the most judgmental and it stares at you in the face, saying, "you really think I'm a good enough sentence to captive people's attention?".
Now is as "bad" a time as ever for me to write, as I'm busy with a job search for after my AmeriCorps term ends June 30th. Yet for some reason as I was going through my email tonight I saw the Weebly email from when I first created this blog last summer, and was inspired to write. As soon as I saw my other posts, those finished products, and that haunting yet exciting railroad track as my background picture, I got excited and wanted to post something. This isn't going to be my most polished or exciting post, because if I leave this as a rough draft who knows when I'll get back to editing it.
But as a mentor has long told me, keeping myself "busy" inhibits me from reaching deep inside myself and figuring out what it is I want to contribute to, to change about, this world. I love being busy; I love meeting and interacting with people, I love being out and about in the world and appreciating all life has to offer. I am so used to being busy that sometimes it's hard for me to relax, or to not feel guilty about laying in bed and watching a movie. Being busy is addicting, because it allows me to escape the difficult questions: Who am I? What do I want to change, and why? Where do I see myself in 1, 5, 10 years? Who are the people around me who are most important, and with whom I should be spending more time? Why do I find time to check InstaGram every day but not always the news? What are the most important things in life, and how am I going to make sure to appreciate them every day?
If anyone claims to have themselves figured out at the age of 23, I'd be pretty doubtful. This is an exciting, nervewracking, emotional, inspring time of my life and it's important to take the time to embrace the unknown and reflect on it. Where have I been and where I am going? Is where I'm going the same as where I want to go, as where I'm called to go?
But as always, this will all have to wait for when I am less busy...
Now is as "bad" a time as ever for me to write, as I'm busy with a job search for after my AmeriCorps term ends June 30th. Yet for some reason as I was going through my email tonight I saw the Weebly email from when I first created this blog last summer, and was inspired to write. As soon as I saw my other posts, those finished products, and that haunting yet exciting railroad track as my background picture, I got excited and wanted to post something. This isn't going to be my most polished or exciting post, because if I leave this as a rough draft who knows when I'll get back to editing it.
But as a mentor has long told me, keeping myself "busy" inhibits me from reaching deep inside myself and figuring out what it is I want to contribute to, to change about, this world. I love being busy; I love meeting and interacting with people, I love being out and about in the world and appreciating all life has to offer. I am so used to being busy that sometimes it's hard for me to relax, or to not feel guilty about laying in bed and watching a movie. Being busy is addicting, because it allows me to escape the difficult questions: Who am I? What do I want to change, and why? Where do I see myself in 1, 5, 10 years? Who are the people around me who are most important, and with whom I should be spending more time? Why do I find time to check InstaGram every day but not always the news? What are the most important things in life, and how am I going to make sure to appreciate them every day?
If anyone claims to have themselves figured out at the age of 23, I'd be pretty doubtful. This is an exciting, nervewracking, emotional, inspring time of my life and it's important to take the time to embrace the unknown and reflect on it. Where have I been and where I am going? Is where I'm going the same as where I want to go, as where I'm called to go?
But as always, this will all have to wait for when I am less busy...